CORN & AVOCADO SALAD, PORK RIBS, AND KEY LIME PIES

CULINARY ARTIST: IAN URE

OVERALL STAR RATING: 4.96/5

FOOD EATERS: JESSE, BRIANNE, & ERIC

Brianne: "We'll start with Ian. Ian give us a little background on this night's dishes. What inspired your whole collection of food?"

Ian "It was barbecue, definitely, again. I was really hoping for a beautiful day, but we got an alright one. It came together."

Brianne: "Run into any problems?"

Ian: "Surprisingly no. It went very smoothly.

The cook time was about 2.5 hours. Prep time was about an hour."

Brianne: "Can you tell us a little about the special drink of the evening?"

Ian: "Pretty much a mimosa. It was a pineapple and ginger ale, with a hint of maple whiskey. And soon, there will be ice available."

Brianne: "I can't wait"

(It was sort of warm but not really warm enough to eat outside, but we tried anyway, there were blankets involved)

FIRST COURSE: Corn & Avocado Salad with Chicken
STAR RATING: 4.9/5

I was kind of scared, because I knew Eric wasn't very happy with Black olives, but, we tried it anyways, I hope he enjoyed it. Chopped up tomato, a little bit of onion, corn. I had slow cooked chicken that was on the Barbecue for 2 hours and sliced that up. And had a little vinaigrette which was apple cider vinegar, olive oil, salt and pepper, and some oregano. I waited until the very last moment to cut the avocado so it didn't go brown.

Jesse: Star rating: 5

"7"

Brianne: "It's out of 5"

Jesse: "The salad was 5/5. It was delicious. Fresh. The pop of the corn. The freshness of the avocado, they all worked together."

B: I give the salad a 4.8. Every time I have olives I like them more and more so I think I need to stop telling people that I hate olives.

It was delicious, a delicious appetizer. I could see it being the star of any barbecue party. Lots of crunch and flavour, and the chicken was really good.

E: I'm going to give the salad a 4.9. The chicken had been given the care it needed. I haven't acquired the taste for olives yet, but like Brianne, I think at some point in my adult life I'll be able to just freely eat olives. But they worked well in this salad. The raw onion really cut through that uh, I don't know what it is about olives.

I: Salty brine.

E: Ya, I think it's the brine. It cuts the brine so they're just salty.

B: Eric said, this is how you serve olives.

E: Ya, I said that. And with the corn too, the corn was great. To me the whole salad was like a big, like a salsa, nacho-dip in one.

The cocktail of the evening, which I continued to drink after my salad only enhanced the flavours and hung around in my mouth until the ribs.

MAIN COURSE: Pork Back Ribs
STAR RATING: 5/5

I made sure to first, take off the sivler skin, thank you Jesse for the help.

Just a simple salt and pepper on both sides and then put it on the grill under indirect heat.  You cut off the middle heat and then the sides is where the heat comes from

B: Science!

I: Absolutely.

After an hour I did the sauce every 20 mins, 3 times. The sauce is kind of a sesame oil, HP, sirachi, little bit of this, you know, lots of stuff. Salt and pepper, a little oregano, and yeah, that's it.

The mashed potatoes. I heated up a sauce pan, chopped up some garlic with a little salt and olive oil, let that roast, then poured in the butter, let that simmer for about 20 mins. Then I poured that into the potato mash mixture thing with some milk, and, yeah, that was it.

Jesse: 5/5

J: I like it. They were great.

B: Jesse your reviews are sucking right now!

J: Can I finish?

I'm a wet rib guy, personally. I appreciate a wet rib. But I was pleasantly surprised. The dry rib has a nice bark on it. Can peal some off some of that bark and have a tasty treat. It was delicious. All along I was thinking, wow, this could really sell at rib fest. A good rib fest treat, and they don't even make your fingers sticky.

E: You'd probably have to make a lot more.

J: You could even write a jingle. Easy to eat with your fingers so neat. Something like that. Ian you should be more interested, they're your ribs.

B: Did you say anything about the mashed potatoes?

J: I looooove those creamy creamy tomatoes.

B: Okay, that's good enough. I'm going to give my review.

Brianne: 5/5

B: I was also expecting a wet rib, but I was impressed by the dry rib. It was nice and tough on the outside and flaky on the inside. Those are supposed to be compliments, not sure if they're coming across that way.

The smashed potatoes were off the chain. Off the charts? and the chain? Off the hook. Big fan. Lots of garlic in them, and butter, so yeah, that's a 5.

Eric: 5/5

The ribs and potatoes. I wasn't expecting a wetter rib necessarily. I liked the ribs, I thought they were perfect. Talib would be proud.

They were a great dry rub, they stuck to your fingers just enough, they were tender, they worked perfectly with the potatoes which were creamy and lumpy. Delicious. Garlicky.

I: Boutros Boutros Ghali.

E: There was Boutros a Ghali. And that's a lot of boutros.

5/5, That's my review.

DESSERT: Tiny Key Lime Pie
STAR RATING: 5/5

I: A personal size little tea cake. It was a graham cracker base that was blended up with a little bit of boutros and sugar. Bake that for about 8 minutes and let cool. Prepare egg whites, beat until light and fully and fold into the condensed milk, which is rather sweet.

Surprisingly, the supermarket didn't have limes, so we had to get miniature limes.

B: But they're key limes and you were making key lime pies!?

I: Uh, yeah, well, it worked out. But god damn was that a lot of juicing.

I: It had whipping cream in the middle with a little slice of lime dipped in sugar to cut the sourness.

Brianne: 5/5

Ian made enough tarts so we could each have 2. I had 3.

The graham cracker bottom was unreal, just delicious.

There were so many layers, the graham cracker, then a cheese cakey consistency, then a super fluffy whipped cream. It was unreal. Paired with some yummy coffee. 

Ian should do this for a living now. He could cater my Zine launch party. Some shameless self promotion.

Eric: 5/5

I really liked them. I'm giving them another 5. They were light, sweet. A perfect dessert. I like tarts of all kinds. I try not to discriminate because that's the kind of person I am. I'm glad the key limes worked out, otherwise that could have ended badly. They would have just been regular lime pies.

Jesse: 5/5

(Having taken the microphone and locked himself in Ian's room, Jesse gives his review)

I just wanted to give a review on Ian's key lime pie. The only words that can express this Key Lime Pie fascination I now have. 

So delicious with that Lime.

Key Lime Pie

That's what caught my eye.

It's without a lie.

A pie, to die for.

Not for four, but for one.

I love my key lime pie.

Yum yum yum.

B: Say something catchy at the end. Like a radio sign off.

I: This is Ian, signing out.

We also did some exercise or whatever

PHOTOBOOTH PHOTO TO FOLLOW

IAN: PARMESAN EDEMAME, STICKY WINGS, AND TIRAMISU

CULINARY ARTIST: IAN URE

OVERALL STAR RATING: 4.82/5

FOOD EATERS: ERIC, BRIANNE, JESSE

LATECOMER NON-FOOD EATERS: BRAD, SHAUNA, RYAN

It was a freezing cold, stressful but very rewarding  night. It fell into place as soon as I got the wings on the barbecue, and the rest was just magical. Next time we're getting a magnum of wine. We had a roaring fire, that will come into play later in this blog post.

Eric: "How have we not gotten a box of wine?"

FIRST COURSE: Garlic Parmesan Edamame
STAR RATING: 4.8/5

The edamame was a crispy, salty blend. I say blend a lot. With a lil, a lil pop in the center... I think that's it.

Brianne: Star rating:4.5
"It was really salty, yummy. I ate a ton of it. Ya, and, edemame rules, it was so good. The lil parmesan clusters were perfect."

Eric: Star rating: 5
"It was awesome. Once I ate one, I ate, well, more. A lot more. The parmesan was so good. I kept eating bunches of it alone. I didn't know it was parmesan at first though. But thinking back now, I probably should have figured it out. A solid 5 and start to a good night."

Jesse: Star rating:4.9 ("because nobody's perfect. the -1 is for the 1 he gave me last week.")
"I'd like to say that dennis did a really good job on his edamame."

Brianne: "Dennis? What is happening?"

Ian: "Uh, he's been calling me Dennis lately."

Jesse: "Veronica and peter just showed up.

Jesse: "It was a good combination between salty and texture. Edamame was cooked perfectly. Minimal to no effort to get edamame out of the shell. The man made some edamame tonight. Dennis, you've outdone yourself."

It was at this point in the night that a squirrel fell down the chimney and into the lit fireplace, climbing up the hot metal gate, and running all over the room, like a phoenix rising from the ashes. Ian almost immediately closed the door on the room, conveniently trapping five innocent people in the room with the upset squirrel. Shauna was the hero, trapping him in a laundry basket with a blanket, and carrying him outside.

We think he'll be okay but he was definitely in shock and inhaled some smoke. 

*Laternote: We put him outside and half an hour later he was still there.

VIDEO PROOF: (he is under the table)

SECOND COURSE: Slow Cooked Sticky Wings (Jesse calls them angel wings)

STAR RATING: 5/5

It was BBQ indirect heat for 2.5 hours, and at an hour and a half in I started saucing. That's how you get it sticky. With a special guest saucer, Sean Ure. I went upstairs for some second opinions. He was on the phone like, little of this, little of that. and I was like, you got it. It was balsamic, honey, soy sauce, a pinch of HP sauce. Some old bay, cause you can't go wrong.

Brianne: Star rating:5
"These wings were super... tender. I almost said fall aparty but you know that's not a word. I ate way more than everyone else. I tried to stop, but I couldn't. I had to take my rings off because they were getting covered in sauce."

Jesse: Star rating: 5
"The flavour makes me sing,
the finger licking king.
The sauce would nicely cling
to my heart strings.
This food was like a sexual fling,
these were simply angel wings."

Eric: Star rating:5
"Oh the wings were great. The wings were fantastic. I like that he didn't have a side with them. It was just a big plate. It was clean, it was simple. It was delicious. It was perfect."


Ryan: Star rating: 1
"I don't think you cooked the squirrel long enough."

DESSERT: TIRAMISU

STAR RATING: 4.67/5

I wanted a light but strong flavoured dessert, with a hint of dark cocoa. I started with some fresh whipping cream and beat it until light and fluffy like clouds. Then I folded in some mascarpone, and then dipped the lady finger in a strong but elegant cofffee... 
shout outs to the Tassimo. I did 3 layers, and then shaved some dark chocolate on top.

Brianne: Star rating: 4.5
"I don't always like tiramisu, but this was really good. I actually licked some stuff off the beaters before it was done, so I knew it was going to be good. And then it was even MORE good."

Eric: Star rating: 4.5
"The tiramisu was done to perfection. The subtle hint of coffee, it tasted columbian but I don't know, I'm no connoisseur. It was delicious, delightful, it really made me want a cup of coffee to top off the night, and then we had one and it was perfect." 

Jesse: Star rating: 5 + 1
"I'm a man of very little words, and I rarely cuss, but that was some tira-mi-fucking-su. When buying the ingredients I had no idea, I thought we were just having treats and coffee. My mind was blown.

Ian: "None of this would have been possible without Jesse, buying all of the ingredients."

Then we played more of the trivia video game and drank a lot of Dr. Pepper.

Almost normal photobooth photo!