CULINARY ARTIST: JESSE FOGARTY
OVERALL STAR RATING: 4.315/5
FOOD EATERS: BRIANNE, ERIC, IAN, AND SPECIAL GUEST RYAN FOGARTY
*editors note: I am just realizing how ridiculous this blog is going to be, and how hard it is going to be to make coherent blog posts out of our rum and wine induced full belly ramblings*
*We have also added a new rule, the cook is allowed to name all of their dishes. All dish names in this post are by Jesse.*
On an unforgiving, blustery winter evening, we gathered for our third meal together, the first to be documented on this blog. Jesse prepared an ambitious 3 course meal, and somehow managed to time everything perfectly. There was only one major accident.
FIRST COURSE: BRUSCHETTA
STAR RATING: 4.975/5
Jesse: The bruschetta was made with tomatoes, fresh rosemary, seasoning salt (that's the secret ingredient, don't tell anyone) ricotta cheese, minced garlic, cayenne pepper, prosciutto (the rich man's bacon) and smoky balsamic. I have to give credit to Ian for the smoky balsamic because he is the one who reminded me we had it. You go to Ian for the secret ingredient, because you know why? At the end of the day the secret ingredient is Ian.
Ian: Star rating: 5
"Where do I begin? I'd say the bread was crispy, prosciutto was salty, tomatoes were fresh... A great medley"
Brianne: Star rating: 5
"I never knew how much everyone else sucked at making bruschetta until now. I want smoky balsamic on everything forever."
Ryan: Star rating: 4.9
"I don't think Jesse understands the concept of tacos. Way too many tomatoes for that, unless this was supposed to be bruschetta, in which case, pretty good."
Eric: Star rating: 5
"My drink was empty, Jesse refilled it. In exchange I award him a 5 star rating."
MAIN COURSE: CHICKEN EXPLOSION
STAR RATING: 3.3/5
Jesse: Chicken Explosion is a white guys take on Thai. It is matchstick cuts of zucchini, carrots, and cucumber, and hand torn romaine lettuce. You boil chicken in vegetable stock, honey, and peanut butter, but for an even better taste use cashew butter. And we added garlic cock sauce. I cooked the chicken slowly with a good amount of minced ginger and green onions. After you put the cut up chicken in the salad, you pout the leftover stock and peanut butter mixture on top!
Ian: Star rating: 3.5
"I went first last time! I am definitely tasting flavours right now. Crisp... ss.. psh... there's just so much flavour."
Brianne: Star rating: 2
"Everything was nice except for the chicken. It was definitely dry. I had to chew it for a long time."
Ryan: Star rating: ???
"Orlando" (Ryan may not be invited back because he is bad at this)
Eric: Star rating: 4.5
"Jesse is yelling at Ian for his 3.5 star rating. I give him a strong 4.5 for flavour, originality, and my own fear of personal harm. He doesn't get the last half point because I have to remain strong and show he doesn't control me. That is two points more than I would have given to a non-threatening Jesse."
SIDE NOTE: The major accident occurred while Jesse was making the second course. He attempted to mix the remaining peanut butter/stock mixture in the blender, and it somehow ended up all over the counters and floor, and Jesse's hand. It was extremely hot, and he is possibly injured. The floors were then mopped.
Ian: "The night was explosive!"
Jesse: "I'm such a fucking idiot."
Ian: "Don't be so god damned hard on yourself."
DESSERT: APPLE 3.14 DOUGH BALL
STAR RATING: 4.67/5
Jesse: "I'm not going to lie, I ate two dough balls. BUT I FUCKING MADE THE THING, SO."
Butter that pan like you've never buttered that pan before. So much butter that you feel uncomfortable serving it to people. It's mostly butter. Cook cut up Spy apples with 1/4 stick of butter, cinnamon sugar, and brown sugar. Like a lot of brown sugar. Bake individual palm rolled dough balls in the oven at 375 until desired gooeyness is achieved. Be sure to lather them in butter first. Scoop apples on top of the baked dough ball and squeeze lemon juice on top.
Ian: Star rating: 4
"Light, airy, no wait the opposite of that. I'm going to go with buttery, delicious... out of this world."
Brianne: Star rating: 5
"I'm not sure if something with that much butter could ever taste bad. It would have been amazing with ice cream. I forgot to take a photo because I was so excited to eat it, so here is a photo of the warm buttery syrup that is left."
Ryan: Star rating: 5, double wink (???)
"Better than Grandma's."
Eric: Was too full and happy to respond
Join us next week to see what Eric makes.
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