CORN & AVOCADO SALAD, PORK RIBS, AND KEY LIME PIES

CULINARY ARTIST: IAN URE

OVERALL STAR RATING: 4.96/5

FOOD EATERS: JESSE, BRIANNE, & ERIC

Brianne: "We'll start with Ian. Ian give us a little background on this night's dishes. What inspired your whole collection of food?"

Ian "It was barbecue, definitely, again. I was really hoping for a beautiful day, but we got an alright one. It came together."

Brianne: "Run into any problems?"

Ian: "Surprisingly no. It went very smoothly.

The cook time was about 2.5 hours. Prep time was about an hour."

Brianne: "Can you tell us a little about the special drink of the evening?"

Ian: "Pretty much a mimosa. It was a pineapple and ginger ale, with a hint of maple whiskey. And soon, there will be ice available."

Brianne: "I can't wait"

(It was sort of warm but not really warm enough to eat outside, but we tried anyway, there were blankets involved)

FIRST COURSE: Corn & Avocado Salad with Chicken
STAR RATING: 4.9/5

I was kind of scared, because I knew Eric wasn't very happy with Black olives, but, we tried it anyways, I hope he enjoyed it. Chopped up tomato, a little bit of onion, corn. I had slow cooked chicken that was on the Barbecue for 2 hours and sliced that up. And had a little vinaigrette which was apple cider vinegar, olive oil, salt and pepper, and some oregano. I waited until the very last moment to cut the avocado so it didn't go brown.

Jesse: Star rating: 5

"7"

Brianne: "It's out of 5"

Jesse: "The salad was 5/5. It was delicious. Fresh. The pop of the corn. The freshness of the avocado, they all worked together."

B: I give the salad a 4.8. Every time I have olives I like them more and more so I think I need to stop telling people that I hate olives.

It was delicious, a delicious appetizer. I could see it being the star of any barbecue party. Lots of crunch and flavour, and the chicken was really good.

E: I'm going to give the salad a 4.9. The chicken had been given the care it needed. I haven't acquired the taste for olives yet, but like Brianne, I think at some point in my adult life I'll be able to just freely eat olives. But they worked well in this salad. The raw onion really cut through that uh, I don't know what it is about olives.

I: Salty brine.

E: Ya, I think it's the brine. It cuts the brine so they're just salty.

B: Eric said, this is how you serve olives.

E: Ya, I said that. And with the corn too, the corn was great. To me the whole salad was like a big, like a salsa, nacho-dip in one.

The cocktail of the evening, which I continued to drink after my salad only enhanced the flavours and hung around in my mouth until the ribs.

MAIN COURSE: Pork Back Ribs
STAR RATING: 5/5

I made sure to first, take off the sivler skin, thank you Jesse for the help.

Just a simple salt and pepper on both sides and then put it on the grill under indirect heat.  You cut off the middle heat and then the sides is where the heat comes from

B: Science!

I: Absolutely.

After an hour I did the sauce every 20 mins, 3 times. The sauce is kind of a sesame oil, HP, sirachi, little bit of this, you know, lots of stuff. Salt and pepper, a little oregano, and yeah, that's it.

The mashed potatoes. I heated up a sauce pan, chopped up some garlic with a little salt and olive oil, let that roast, then poured in the butter, let that simmer for about 20 mins. Then I poured that into the potato mash mixture thing with some milk, and, yeah, that was it.

Jesse: 5/5

J: I like it. They were great.

B: Jesse your reviews are sucking right now!

J: Can I finish?

I'm a wet rib guy, personally. I appreciate a wet rib. But I was pleasantly surprised. The dry rib has a nice bark on it. Can peal some off some of that bark and have a tasty treat. It was delicious. All along I was thinking, wow, this could really sell at rib fest. A good rib fest treat, and they don't even make your fingers sticky.

E: You'd probably have to make a lot more.

J: You could even write a jingle. Easy to eat with your fingers so neat. Something like that. Ian you should be more interested, they're your ribs.

B: Did you say anything about the mashed potatoes?

J: I looooove those creamy creamy tomatoes.

B: Okay, that's good enough. I'm going to give my review.

Brianne: 5/5

B: I was also expecting a wet rib, but I was impressed by the dry rib. It was nice and tough on the outside and flaky on the inside. Those are supposed to be compliments, not sure if they're coming across that way.

The smashed potatoes were off the chain. Off the charts? and the chain? Off the hook. Big fan. Lots of garlic in them, and butter, so yeah, that's a 5.

Eric: 5/5

The ribs and potatoes. I wasn't expecting a wetter rib necessarily. I liked the ribs, I thought they were perfect. Talib would be proud.

They were a great dry rub, they stuck to your fingers just enough, they were tender, they worked perfectly with the potatoes which were creamy and lumpy. Delicious. Garlicky.

I: Boutros Boutros Ghali.

E: There was Boutros a Ghali. And that's a lot of boutros.

5/5, That's my review.

DESSERT: Tiny Key Lime Pie
STAR RATING: 5/5

I: A personal size little tea cake. It was a graham cracker base that was blended up with a little bit of boutros and sugar. Bake that for about 8 minutes and let cool. Prepare egg whites, beat until light and fully and fold into the condensed milk, which is rather sweet.

Surprisingly, the supermarket didn't have limes, so we had to get miniature limes.

B: But they're key limes and you were making key lime pies!?

I: Uh, yeah, well, it worked out. But god damn was that a lot of juicing.

I: It had whipping cream in the middle with a little slice of lime dipped in sugar to cut the sourness.

Brianne: 5/5

Ian made enough tarts so we could each have 2. I had 3.

The graham cracker bottom was unreal, just delicious.

There were so many layers, the graham cracker, then a cheese cakey consistency, then a super fluffy whipped cream. It was unreal. Paired with some yummy coffee. 

Ian should do this for a living now. He could cater my Zine launch party. Some shameless self promotion.

Eric: 5/5

I really liked them. I'm giving them another 5. They were light, sweet. A perfect dessert. I like tarts of all kinds. I try not to discriminate because that's the kind of person I am. I'm glad the key limes worked out, otherwise that could have ended badly. They would have just been regular lime pies.

Jesse: 5/5

(Having taken the microphone and locked himself in Ian's room, Jesse gives his review)

I just wanted to give a review on Ian's key lime pie. The only words that can express this Key Lime Pie fascination I now have. 

So delicious with that Lime.

Key Lime Pie

That's what caught my eye.

It's without a lie.

A pie, to die for.

Not for four, but for one.

I love my key lime pie.

Yum yum yum.

B: Say something catchy at the end. Like a radio sign off.

I: This is Ian, signing out.

We also did some exercise or whatever

PHOTOBOOTH PHOTO TO FOLLOW

SPINACH & MAPLE BALSAMIC SALAD, GRILLED CHEESE WITH TOMATO BISQUE, CHOCOLATE WAFFLES

CULINARY ARTIST: JESSE FOGARTY

OVERALL STAR RATING: 4.7783333/5

FOOD EATERS: IAN, BRIANNE, & ERIC, BRAD, SHAUNA

SPECIAL GUESTS: BRAD & SHAUNA

Eric: "Let's start at the beginning. Did you have any inspirations for tonight? You were supposed to cook with Ryan, what happened?"

Jesse "He bailed. Ryan bailed. But we had discussed the night before, about a grilled cheese, and then I thought, ooh, what better than with tomato soup. Started out that I was going to make a tomato soup, but then I ended up making a tomato bisque.

I pretty much made up my own recipe for the soup. I didn't use a recipe. If you like a little more texture than soup, cook it with rice.

I always thought that a tomato bisque was just heavy cream, but it's not just heavy cream, it's also rice. Basmati. I used a cup, but it only called for a teaspoon. But you thicken it by putting more rice, and right out the gate I wanted this to be a thick bitch."

Jesse: "It's a known fact that rock and roll makes food more delicious"

Brianne: "It's scientifically proven."

FIRST COURSE: Spinach & Maple Balsamic Salad
STAR RATING: 4.4/5

Baby Spinach Blue Cheese and Nut Salad

Blue cheese crumbled, with a maple syrup balsamic dressing. Tossed by hand, with cold wet fingers. Served with a drizzle. Not too much dressing. Very little dressing.

That's it for that one. Period, end sentence.

By the way, I haven't read the reviews, but Ian, I think that was very nice of you.

Ian: Star rating:4.7
"I'm going to give it a 4.7, i'm going to have to say it was a light and refreshing salad. I really enjoyed the hint of blue cheese, that wasn't too overpowering. I enjoyed it."


Brianne: Star rating: 4.4
"The salad was great. that balsamic was especially great. Good nut medley, and i give it a 4.4."

Eric: Star rating: 4.5
"The salad was delightful. Spinach salad done right. A light dressing, a hint, a pinch of a hint, of blue cheese. Some nuts. I can't remember what kind, we ate it a while ago. It was just the kind of salad i would make for myself but would much rather have made for me, by jesse, while he raises cancer awareness with one bare foot. 4.5!

Brad: Star rating: 4.0
"It was a nice little spinach arrangement, the nuts were a good addition, light on the dressing. I usually hate too much dressing. it was a good amount. good portion and it set me up for a nice afternoon."

SECOND COURSE: Grilled Cheese with Maple Bacon & Tomato Bisque

STAR RATING: 4.935/5

I started off by doing a bacon tomato, a bacon cup, and a bacon weave. A combination of on-stove top and in the over, so, points for effort.

Eric: "Did you just try a couple different kinds of bacon, pick the best?"

Jesse: "I did. My whole intention was to have the bacon cups go as a garnish on top of my soup."

Eric: "I didn't have a bacon cup. I think we ran out of bacon cups."

Jesse: "My inspiration for the sandwich was to get the texture of the soup to be as much like the cheese inside the grilled cheese sandwich, so that it was like getting cheese-bread-cheese. And then you get that crunch from the bacon. So it wasn't really a soup, it was more of a dip."

Eric: "I dipped."

Jesse: "You pretty much don't even need a spoon. I should call it the spoonless soup."

Eric: "Ian did you dip?"

Ian: "I dipped."

Jesse: "I think everybody dipped. I saw Brad and Shauna dip. I saw you two dipping! Together in the same bowl. It was romantic. Just remember that for when you judge me. Wait you already did!"

Jesse: "Carrying through with my blue cheese inspiration which was developped from - I had a strong belief that there was no way Brianne would dislike blue cheese if it was used properly. She told me she didn't like blue cheese and I was like woah woah, I'm cancelling. And then I was lying."

Eric: "Good, because she was like, he better not, because we said we'd eat anything."

Jesse: "I made her think I was going to not use it, but then I tried to incorporate it into every single dish. And then she was eating it out of the container. Liked it, she loved it!

There was a hint of paprika in the soup, which I think really kicked it up a notch."

Eric: "That's probably what I was tasting."

Jesse: "See, secret weapon."

Ian: Star rating: 5

"I'm going to give it a perfect 5. the salty thick strips with that beautiful combination of cheddar and blue cheese was outstanding. The toasted bread held it all together with that...uuuuhhh. perfect, tomato bisque. that's it."

Brianne: Star rating: 5
"It smelt so good I was pacing around the kitchen waiting to eat it. and then I ate it and it was top notch. I'm surprised how much i liked the blue cheese. The bacon was really thick and the bisque was really creamy. A+ 5 out of 5."

Eric: Star rating: 5
"It's unfair we're rating these together. they're both 5's in their on right, but together they're a solid 5. the grilled cheese was amazing. I love blue cheese. great attention to detail; crispy bread, tender bacon. a real home run."

"I forgot about the soup. The soup was amazing too. A rice bisque? Are we the only one's just now learning this is a thing? Definitely going to start making this at home."

Brad: Star rating: 4.975
"I echo Ian's sentiments.
Presentation was at a seriously high caliber. It was seriously good.  Presentation was gorgeous. I usually hate soup for the most part but Jesse's tomato bisque definitely made it's way into the top 5 soups I've ever had in the history of me being alive, and I thank him for that from the bottom of my socks. Sorry.. forgot to mention how good the sandwich was. Maple bacon...WHAT!!!? Was not ready for that ;) thanks Jess.

Shauna: Star rating: 4.7
"I can't believe there was rice in that soup, it was just delicous. I have no idea." 
Brad: "I forgot to say how viscous it was!"
Shauna: "It was a nice colour. Swirl of cream, and the thick cut bacon was a treat. Super cheezy sandwich, maple bacon, you can't get any better than that."

DESSERT: Chocolate Waffles with Chocolate Chip Whipped Cream

STAR RATING: 5/5

The waffles, which was like a beautiful disaster. I did not think they were going to get made. I picked up cookie crumbs not knowing how I was going to use them. Whipping cream was on sale, go figure that would need whipped cream. It was a sign. I bought three containers. One for my soup, and two for my waffles. Oh yeah, I used whipping cream instead of heavy cream.

Eric: "You bought a waffle iron."

Jesse: "Yes. I'm that dedicated. I buy a lot of stuff for eating-stuff."

Eric: "So if there are any waffle iron makers out there listening..."

Ian: Star rating: 5
"Another perfect dish. The delicious cocoa waffles with fresh whipped cream was out of this world. With the blueberry filling, and blackberry on top made this a perfect dish."

Brianne: Star rating: 5
"They are totally incredible. They're perfect. They're incredible. So, like, perfect dark chocolate. Very filling and superb. It's incredible. Oh, now I'm getting some shaved chocolate."
Jesse: "Hi. I forgot."
Brianne: "Mmmmmmm. Eric, I give it a 5."

Eric: Star rating: 5
"One of the strongest desserts we've seen. Perfect chocolate waffles. They were like a dense cake. The chocolate chip whipped cream on top with blackberries. Sweet sweet juicy blackberries. Another 5."

Then we played a scary wii game where you run away from another person.

PHOTO BOOTH PHOTO!!

BRIANNE: CURRIED CARROT LENTIL SOUP

Brianne made this, Eric agrees it is delicious.

PEA & PARSLEY SOUP, SWEET POTATO SKINS, AND ALMOND COFFEE CAKE

CULINARY ARTIST: BRIANNE BURNELL

OVERALL STAR RATING: 4.69/5

FOOD EATERS: IAN, JESSE, ERIC

I was supposed to cook last week, I bought all of the ingredients, and then it was a snow storm and no one came. I had made fudge the night before, but in the end it didn't turn out, so I kind of got a redo on the dessert. The menu consisted of a pea parsley soup, which I was unsure about form the beginning but which ended up the winner of the night, sweet potato skins with chipotle chicken, and the redo dessert which was an incredible almond coffee cake. And i nailed it.

Jesse: "I need a redo for my parfait! Maybe I'll come back and make the perfect, something."

Brianne: "Jesse you can do that. I can help you!"

Jesse: "I'll go to like, a fucking farm. Lets all make mini soufflées! It's a soufflée off!"

FIRST COURSE: Chilled Pea & Parsley Soup
STAR RATING: 4.93/5

I've never made or eaten chilled soup. I didn't know if anyone liked chilled soup, and I didn't know if using what some would consider "just a garnish" as such a large component of the dish was going to sit well with this group of boys. It turned out bright and fresh, salty, sweet... there were a ton of flavours, and it photographed beautifully. The ingredients were: one big onion, 4 cloves of garlic, a bag of peas, 2 cups of parsley leaves, 3 cups vegetable broth, coconut oil, lemon rind and lemon juice, olive oil, and some salt. 

Ian: Star rating: 4.9
"When i found out the ingredients, I was very surprised. Each ingredient was very powerful, but all together,  fantastic. I'm going to give it a 4.9. I enjoyed it was chilled. I haven't had that in a while."


Jesse: Star rating: 5
"I'm going to whisper my review to Eric."

Brianne: "Don't be mean to me. I'm playing Motion City Soundtrack. We're all like high school friends right now."

Jesse: "Imagine Notion City Soundtrack."

Jesse: "It's best BRO 10 out of 10."

Eric: "What is that out of 5"

Jesse: "6"

Brianne: "5, its a 5."

Jesse: "It's like. I'm addicted to ice cream, and it was like an ice cream meal. I could eat it all day. All day bro. I want a kids pool filled with it for my birthday. I want a pea soup filled bath, and I'll just eat myself out of it. But I want it to be warm this time. I'm not just going to sit in cold soup and eat the entire bathtub."

Brianne: "The soup has to be pureed."

Eric: "In a little magic bullet."

Jesse: "Just put it next to the bathtub."


Eric: Star rating: 4.9
"It was perfect. I took away a point one because i thought it would have been fun to have a dollop or a little squiggle of, maybe a crème? I don't actually know what I'm thinking of but i can picture it. Brianne posted a picture of the soup earlier in the day when she first made it. we all thought it was from a magazine she stole the recipe for, but she just took a picture of it in the laundry room."

Brianne: "The laundry room is where my secret photo studio is!"

SECOND COURSE: Chipotle Chicken Stuffed Sweet Potato Skins

STAR RATING: 4.56/5

These looked really delicious online. The recipe I used claimed they were healthy, but that's probably a stretch because they're covered with cheese. They took an excruciatingly long time to cook. It was in and out of the oven a zillion times. There were lots of steps which is not how I like to do things. I don't like to do steps, which is probably why i won't do these again. but it tasted lime-zesty-chipotle-fresh, delicious. All those things. I have never used so many spices! Cumin, red pepper flakes, chipotle, chilli pepper, cayenne... it just went on and on.

Jesse: "Can I put a gif as my review?"

Brianne: "No Jesse."

Ian: Star rating:4.7

"If we didn't get so drunk before we had to do these I would do much better.
I really enjoyed the marinated chicken. It was zesty and fresh with a delicious, perfectly cooked sweet potato. 4.7, because i was picky about the skins.

Brianne: "For some reason, Ian wants sweet potato skins with no skins. I baked that thing for over an hour to get those perfect skins!"

Ian: "...it was great.."

Jesse Star rating: 4.5
"They were delicious. 4.5. Needed a kick on the sweet potato, other than that it was perfection. Needed a pinch of fresh cayenne on top. maybe like a smokey cayenne.

Brianne: "there was cayenne in it."

Jesse: "If anyone else asks Eric, I give that potato a  5 out of 5. The cayenne was perfect and forget about the paprika." 

Eric: 4.5
"It was really good. the potato was sweet and supple. I thought the choice of cheese was superb. We should all take a moment to give the credit that is due to the beautiful aged cheddar that was used to top those potatoes, and honour the years it has been preparing for it's feature, here, on eating stuff. A moment of silence.

It was really good. I had no idea how I would have made it until I had one on a plate in front of me. I would have shredded the chicken a little more and hollowed out a little bit more of the potato. Or. Maybe not. No sense in losing potato. Maybe sour cream here too. I don't know how i'm lean cause I love sour cream."

(Eric is incapable of talking about sour cream without quoting a rap song that mentions sour cream)

Brianne: "I'd like to give a shout out to eric for getting the special cheese. Balderson. and getting some other vital ingredients as well."

Eric: "Do you think Balderson will sponsor us."

Brianne: "Maybe we could get Thunder Oak to sponsor us, they're in Thunder Bay."

Eric: "Ohhhh ya Thunder Oak is good. I see you t-oak!"

DESSERT: Almond Coffee Cake

STAR RATING: 4.6/5

Since the fudge sucked, during the trial run last week, U decided to make something with a ton of butter and a ton of sugar to make sure it was amazing. The cake was extremely sweet and dense, with little snappy poppy seeds inside. The glaze had orange juice in it! I learned some new things while making it, I learned about streusel. That's the crumbly butter layer on top of coffee cake that makes it so good. That took a lot of elbow grease to make, I had to use the pastry blender, so that was my work out for the day. 

I'm going to eat this for breakfast for the next week. 

I'm sorry donut.

I love you.

It was one of those recipes where you just mix everything together in the bowl at once. MY KIND OF STEP.

Streusel was hard but it paid off.

Ian: Star rating: 5
"This was a delightful end to the night, with the perfectly brewed coffee, and the incredibly tasty, delicious treat. 5 out of 5. I enjoyed the hints of orange.

Ian: "What was it called"

Eric: "What?"

Brianne: "Streusel??"

Ian: "STREUSELLL. I love that."

Jesse: Star rating: 4.5
"It was the perfect combination of crunch and moistness. It was something you could warm up and eat right before bed. Putting you into a deep sleep. Coaxing your body into the deepest sleep you've ever had. It could have used nothing, it was perfect. Four point five out of five."

Eric: Star rating: 4.5
"Tasty treat. I'm not big on desserts, but there's a special place in my heart for things that make black coffee even more delicious. Or maybe it's things that black coffee make more delicious. If that's the case Brianne was smart to shove a cup of coffee in my hand while she made me eat that crap.

That's probably not how it happened." 

Then we played catchphrase aka the best game ever.

PHOTO BOOTH PHOTO

Brianne: "This photo is just for you Mom."