PEA & PARSLEY SOUP, SWEET POTATO SKINS, AND ALMOND COFFEE CAKE

CULINARY ARTIST: BRIANNE BURNELL

OVERALL STAR RATING: 4.69/5

FOOD EATERS: IAN, JESSE, ERIC

I was supposed to cook last week, I bought all of the ingredients, and then it was a snow storm and no one came. I had made fudge the night before, but in the end it didn't turn out, so I kind of got a redo on the dessert. The menu consisted of a pea parsley soup, which I was unsure about form the beginning but which ended up the winner of the night, sweet potato skins with chipotle chicken, and the redo dessert which was an incredible almond coffee cake. And i nailed it.

Jesse: "I need a redo for my parfait! Maybe I'll come back and make the perfect, something."

Brianne: "Jesse you can do that. I can help you!"

Jesse: "I'll go to like, a fucking farm. Lets all make mini soufflées! It's a soufflée off!"

FIRST COURSE: Chilled Pea & Parsley Soup
STAR RATING: 4.93/5

I've never made or eaten chilled soup. I didn't know if anyone liked chilled soup, and I didn't know if using what some would consider "just a garnish" as such a large component of the dish was going to sit well with this group of boys. It turned out bright and fresh, salty, sweet... there were a ton of flavours, and it photographed beautifully. The ingredients were: one big onion, 4 cloves of garlic, a bag of peas, 2 cups of parsley leaves, 3 cups vegetable broth, coconut oil, lemon rind and lemon juice, olive oil, and some salt. 

Ian: Star rating: 4.9
"When i found out the ingredients, I was very surprised. Each ingredient was very powerful, but all together,  fantastic. I'm going to give it a 4.9. I enjoyed it was chilled. I haven't had that in a while."


Jesse: Star rating: 5
"I'm going to whisper my review to Eric."

Brianne: "Don't be mean to me. I'm playing Motion City Soundtrack. We're all like high school friends right now."

Jesse: "Imagine Notion City Soundtrack."

Jesse: "It's best BRO 10 out of 10."

Eric: "What is that out of 5"

Jesse: "6"

Brianne: "5, its a 5."

Jesse: "It's like. I'm addicted to ice cream, and it was like an ice cream meal. I could eat it all day. All day bro. I want a kids pool filled with it for my birthday. I want a pea soup filled bath, and I'll just eat myself out of it. But I want it to be warm this time. I'm not just going to sit in cold soup and eat the entire bathtub."

Brianne: "The soup has to be pureed."

Eric: "In a little magic bullet."

Jesse: "Just put it next to the bathtub."


Eric: Star rating: 4.9
"It was perfect. I took away a point one because i thought it would have been fun to have a dollop or a little squiggle of, maybe a crème? I don't actually know what I'm thinking of but i can picture it. Brianne posted a picture of the soup earlier in the day when she first made it. we all thought it was from a magazine she stole the recipe for, but she just took a picture of it in the laundry room."

Brianne: "The laundry room is where my secret photo studio is!"

SECOND COURSE: Chipotle Chicken Stuffed Sweet Potato Skins

STAR RATING: 4.56/5

These looked really delicious online. The recipe I used claimed they were healthy, but that's probably a stretch because they're covered with cheese. They took an excruciatingly long time to cook. It was in and out of the oven a zillion times. There were lots of steps which is not how I like to do things. I don't like to do steps, which is probably why i won't do these again. but it tasted lime-zesty-chipotle-fresh, delicious. All those things. I have never used so many spices! Cumin, red pepper flakes, chipotle, chilli pepper, cayenne... it just went on and on.

Jesse: "Can I put a gif as my review?"

Brianne: "No Jesse."

Ian: Star rating:4.7

"If we didn't get so drunk before we had to do these I would do much better.
I really enjoyed the marinated chicken. It was zesty and fresh with a delicious, perfectly cooked sweet potato. 4.7, because i was picky about the skins.

Brianne: "For some reason, Ian wants sweet potato skins with no skins. I baked that thing for over an hour to get those perfect skins!"

Ian: "...it was great.."

Jesse Star rating: 4.5
"They were delicious. 4.5. Needed a kick on the sweet potato, other than that it was perfection. Needed a pinch of fresh cayenne on top. maybe like a smokey cayenne.

Brianne: "there was cayenne in it."

Jesse: "If anyone else asks Eric, I give that potato a  5 out of 5. The cayenne was perfect and forget about the paprika." 

Eric: 4.5
"It was really good. the potato was sweet and supple. I thought the choice of cheese was superb. We should all take a moment to give the credit that is due to the beautiful aged cheddar that was used to top those potatoes, and honour the years it has been preparing for it's feature, here, on eating stuff. A moment of silence.

It was really good. I had no idea how I would have made it until I had one on a plate in front of me. I would have shredded the chicken a little more and hollowed out a little bit more of the potato. Or. Maybe not. No sense in losing potato. Maybe sour cream here too. I don't know how i'm lean cause I love sour cream."

(Eric is incapable of talking about sour cream without quoting a rap song that mentions sour cream)

Brianne: "I'd like to give a shout out to eric for getting the special cheese. Balderson. and getting some other vital ingredients as well."

Eric: "Do you think Balderson will sponsor us."

Brianne: "Maybe we could get Thunder Oak to sponsor us, they're in Thunder Bay."

Eric: "Ohhhh ya Thunder Oak is good. I see you t-oak!"

DESSERT: Almond Coffee Cake

STAR RATING: 4.6/5

Since the fudge sucked, during the trial run last week, U decided to make something with a ton of butter and a ton of sugar to make sure it was amazing. The cake was extremely sweet and dense, with little snappy poppy seeds inside. The glaze had orange juice in it! I learned some new things while making it, I learned about streusel. That's the crumbly butter layer on top of coffee cake that makes it so good. That took a lot of elbow grease to make, I had to use the pastry blender, so that was my work out for the day. 

I'm going to eat this for breakfast for the next week. 

I'm sorry donut.

I love you.

It was one of those recipes where you just mix everything together in the bowl at once. MY KIND OF STEP.

Streusel was hard but it paid off.

Ian: Star rating: 5
"This was a delightful end to the night, with the perfectly brewed coffee, and the incredibly tasty, delicious treat. 5 out of 5. I enjoyed the hints of orange.

Ian: "What was it called"

Eric: "What?"

Brianne: "Streusel??"

Ian: "STREUSELLL. I love that."

Jesse: Star rating: 4.5
"It was the perfect combination of crunch and moistness. It was something you could warm up and eat right before bed. Putting you into a deep sleep. Coaxing your body into the deepest sleep you've ever had. It could have used nothing, it was perfect. Four point five out of five."

Eric: Star rating: 4.5
"Tasty treat. I'm not big on desserts, but there's a special place in my heart for things that make black coffee even more delicious. Or maybe it's things that black coffee make more delicious. If that's the case Brianne was smart to shove a cup of coffee in my hand while she made me eat that crap.

That's probably not how it happened." 

Then we played catchphrase aka the best game ever.

PHOTO BOOTH PHOTO

Brianne: "This photo is just for you Mom."

BRIANNE: EDAMAME RICE, SWEET POTATO PEAR SOUP, AND BLACK BEAN BROWNIES

CULINARY ARTIST: BRIANNE BURNELL

OVERALL STAR RATING: 4.7/5

FOOD EATERS: ERIC, JESSE, IAN

This entire meal is about black bean brownies. I saw them on Pinterest, and really wanted to try them. Everything else in this meal was just "what goes with black bean brownies". I ended up with a coconut theme, everything in this has coconut in it, coconut oil... coconut flakes... coconut milk... coconut.

*Brianne is also really sick. Please stop cooking while sick

FIRST COURSE: EDAMAME + KALE RICE

STAR RATING: 4.6/5

Brianne: The first course was fluffy jasmine rice cooked in coconut milk, with kale, edamame, jalapenos, cilantro, and lime. That's all it is. Oh with coconut and sliced almonds on top. The rice was real creamy.

Eric: Star rating: 4.5
"It was so good! Coconut milk is the secret. Not like Rhonda Byrne secret, like a regular secret. I like the cilantro. It made the food taste Freshish. ™ Fresh."

Jesse: Star rating: 4.9
"It was fantastic. I love it. I love it so much. Can. I. I want more? And, I like it."

Brianne: "What? that is the worst -"

Jesse: "4.9"

Ian: Star rating: 4.5
"I'm going to give the rice a 4.5, mainly because I absolutely despise cilantro, and this was amazing. Cilantro is usually just topping on shit. Just garnish and crap"

Brianne: "I never eat a garnish in my life"

Ian: "Uh... Fluffy rice. Coconut is definitely a winner."

MAIN COURSE: SWEET POTATO BUTTERNUT SQUASH & PEAR SOUP
STAR RATING: 4.5/5

Brianne: I love making soup. This one was a sweet potato, a butternut squash, and two pears with some onion, butter.... white pepper... It called for ginger, but I didn't have any, so I put cinnamon in it instead, but I dumped too much and thought I ruined it, but I totally didn't. Then I put toasted coconut and almonds on top!

Eric: Star rating: 4.0

"The soup was delicious. super creamy. I loved the toasted coconut and almond shavings. Like the food critic in the end of Ratatouille, when I tasted this dish, I felt just like a middle aged French man; fantastic. An interesting decision to make the soup self serve just for me... Is it because she's racist? I don't know. Probably."

Ian: Star rating: 5

"It's a solid 5. It's perfect
Yup. Perfect.

She was warm, on a chilly night.

Wait a second, IT was, IT was warm

Did I say she?

Wait a minute,

Was that cinnamon?

Delightful soup."

Eric: "Ian's comment reads like poetry."

Ian: "I would definitely serve this at a major event."

Brianne: "Like what? A bar mitzvah?"

Ian: "Well maybe a ladies night. Maybe a wine tasting. I don't know."

Jesse: Star rating: ???

"It was sweet and salty. It was a delight for my mouth palate. I have a very good mouth palate. And I am quite an artiste. I'm making pretty good art here guys, I don't know if you know. Look my guy has spiky eyelashes"

Brianne: "That's not what eyes look like."

Jesse: *crying sounds*

Brianne: "What's your rating?"

Jesse: "I would eat that every single day. I would feed my children that, and they're not even born yet. But when they are born I'm going to call you up, and say, hey, what's that recipe for butterscotch soup?"

Brianne: "IT'S NOT BUTTERSCOTCH SOUP!"

Some of Jesse's art. Unfortunately not with the spiky eyelashes in this one.

DESSERT: BLACK BEAN COCONUT BROWNIES WITH VANILLA FROZEN YOGURT

STAR RATING: 5/5

Brianne: I was so excited to make this, and I had never done it before. I thought it sounded absurd but everyone on the internet said it was delicious, so I took a big risk here, and it paid off. I was really nervous up until I mixed the batter, and then I knew. I knew this was going to be good. 

So It's an entire can of black beans, cocoa, sugar, eggs, baking soda and baking powder... BALSAMIC VINEGAR (!?!) pureed. Oh and chocolate chips. They're not pureed. With chocolate chips and coconut flakes on top. And frozen yogurt. We ate the entire pan.

Eric: Star rating: 5
"Awesome. They were a bit crumbly but we had them in bowls. They might have been more firm if we had waited to eat them, but fudge those brownies. I had two bowls. TWO BOWWWLLS (titty boy voice)."

Ian: Star rating: 5
"Heard about this delicious melody for weeks, and now that it's here... Wow. It delivered. Perfect accompaniment with the frozen yogurt, the melted chocolate, perfect 5."

Jesse: Star rating: 5
"5"

Eric: "Okay Jess how did you feel about the brownie?"

Jesse: "Oh that? I can't put it into words. It was awesome." *drawing* "I could work for Pokemon. The brownie was amazing, and I love icey yogurt. I like everything about that. Fantastic. I give it a one. No I'm kidding. I give it a 4........5. A 5.

Somehow this became brownies

This didn't.

Then we played PICTIONARY with Brianne's tablet, which she is awesome with and no one else knows how to use but did okay anyway.

Brianne and Ian were a great team and won by a lot.

Photo booth photo!!!!

SNACK - BRIANNE

After painstakingly removing the shells from an entire cup of pistachios, Brianne made some amazing PISTACHIO-COCONUT-LEMON MUFFINS. They were delicious.