eating stuff: BRIANNE: EDAMAME RICE, SWEET POTATO PEAR SOUP, AND BLACK BEAN BROWNIES

CULINARY ARTIST: BRIANNE BURNELL

OVERALL STAR RATING: 4.7/5

FOOD EATERS: ERIC, JESSE, IAN

This entire meal is about black bean brownies. I saw them on Pinterest, and really wanted to try them. Everything else in this meal was just "what goes with black bean brownies". I ended up with a coconut theme, everything in this has coconut in it, coconut oil... coconut flakes... coconut milk... coconut.

*Brianne is also really sick. Please stop cooking while sick

FIRST COURSE: EDAMAME + KALE RICE

STAR RATING: 4.6/5

Brianne: The first course was fluffy jasmine rice cooked in coconut milk, with kale, edamame, jalapenos, cilantro, and lime. That's all it is. Oh with coconut and sliced almonds on top. The rice was real creamy.

Eric: Star rating: 4.5
"It was so good! Coconut milk is the secret. Not like Rhonda Byrne secret, like a regular secret. I like the cilantro. It made the food taste Freshish. ™ Fresh."

Jesse: Star rating: 4.9
"It was fantastic. I love it. I love it so much. Can. I. I want more? And, I like it."

Brianne: "What? that is the worst -"

Jesse: "4.9"

Ian: Star rating: 4.5
"I'm going to give the rice a 4.5, mainly because I absolutely despise cilantro, and this was amazing. Cilantro is usually just topping on shit. Just garnish and crap"

Brianne: "I never eat a garnish in my life"

Ian: "Uh... Fluffy rice. Coconut is definitely a winner."

MAIN COURSE: SWEET POTATO BUTTERNUT SQUASH & PEAR SOUP
STAR RATING: 4.5/5

Brianne: I love making soup. This one was a sweet potato, a butternut squash, and two pears with some onion, butter.... white pepper... It called for ginger, but I didn't have any, so I put cinnamon in it instead, but I dumped too much and thought I ruined it, but I totally didn't. Then I put toasted coconut and almonds on top!

Eric: Star rating: 4.0

"The soup was delicious. super creamy. I loved the toasted coconut and almond shavings. Like the food critic in the end of Ratatouille, when I tasted this dish, I felt just like a middle aged French man; fantastic. An interesting decision to make the soup self serve just for me... Is it because she's racist? I don't know. Probably."

Ian: Star rating: 5

"It's a solid 5. It's perfect
Yup. Perfect.

She was warm, on a chilly night.

Wait a second, IT was, IT was warm

Did I say she?

Wait a minute,

Was that cinnamon?

Delightful soup."

Eric: "Ian's comment reads like poetry."

Ian: "I would definitely serve this at a major event."

Brianne: "Like what? A bar mitzvah?"

Ian: "Well maybe a ladies night. Maybe a wine tasting. I don't know."

Jesse: Star rating: ???

"It was sweet and salty. It was a delight for my mouth palate. I have a very good mouth palate. And I am quite an artiste. I'm making pretty good art here guys, I don't know if you know. Look my guy has spiky eyelashes"

Brianne: "That's not what eyes look like."

Jesse: *crying sounds*

Brianne: "What's your rating?"

Jesse: "I would eat that every single day. I would feed my children that, and they're not even born yet. But when they are born I'm going to call you up, and say, hey, what's that recipe for butterscotch soup?"

Brianne: "IT'S NOT BUTTERSCOTCH SOUP!"

Some of Jesse's art. Unfortunately not with the spiky eyelashes in this one.

DESSERT: BLACK BEAN COCONUT BROWNIES WITH VANILLA FROZEN YOGURT

STAR RATING: 5/5

Brianne: I was so excited to make this, and I had never done it before. I thought it sounded absurd but everyone on the internet said it was delicious, so I took a big risk here, and it paid off. I was really nervous up until I mixed the batter, and then I knew. I knew this was going to be good.

So It's an entire can of black beans, cocoa, sugar, eggs, baking soda and baking powder... BALSAMIC VINEGAR (!?!) pureed. Oh and chocolate chips. They're not pureed. With chocolate chips and coconut flakes on top. And frozen yogurt. We ate the entire pan.

Eric: Star rating: 5
"Awesome. They were a bit crumbly but we had them in bowls. They might have been more firm if we had waited to eat them, but fudge those brownies. I had two bowls. TWO BOWWWLLS (titty boy voice)."

Ian: Star rating: 5
"Heard about this delicious melody for weeks, and now that it's here... Wow. It delivered. Perfect accompaniment with the frozen yogurt, the melted chocolate, perfect 5."

Jesse: Star rating: 5
"5"

Eric: "Okay Jess how did you feel about the brownie?"

Jesse: "Oh that? I can't put it into words. It was awesome." *drawing* "I could work for Pokemon. The brownie was amazing, and I love icey yogurt. I like everything about that. Fantastic. I give it a one. No I'm kidding. I give it a 4........5. A 5.