BRIANNE: CURRIED CARROT LENTIL SOUP

Brianne made this, Eric agrees it is delicious.

PEA & PARSLEY SOUP, SWEET POTATO SKINS, AND ALMOND COFFEE CAKE

CULINARY ARTIST: BRIANNE BURNELL

OVERALL STAR RATING: 4.69/5

FOOD EATERS: IAN, JESSE, ERIC

I was supposed to cook last week, I bought all of the ingredients, and then it was a snow storm and no one came. I had made fudge the night before, but in the end it didn't turn out, so I kind of got a redo on the dessert. The menu consisted of a pea parsley soup, which I was unsure about form the beginning but which ended up the winner of the night, sweet potato skins with chipotle chicken, and the redo dessert which was an incredible almond coffee cake. And i nailed it.

Jesse: "I need a redo for my parfait! Maybe I'll come back and make the perfect, something."

Brianne: "Jesse you can do that. I can help you!"

Jesse: "I'll go to like, a fucking farm. Lets all make mini soufflées! It's a soufflée off!"

FIRST COURSE: Chilled Pea & Parsley Soup
STAR RATING: 4.93/5

I've never made or eaten chilled soup. I didn't know if anyone liked chilled soup, and I didn't know if using what some would consider "just a garnish" as such a large component of the dish was going to sit well with this group of boys. It turned out bright and fresh, salty, sweet... there were a ton of flavours, and it photographed beautifully. The ingredients were: one big onion, 4 cloves of garlic, a bag of peas, 2 cups of parsley leaves, 3 cups vegetable broth, coconut oil, lemon rind and lemon juice, olive oil, and some salt. 

Ian: Star rating: 4.9
"When i found out the ingredients, I was very surprised. Each ingredient was very powerful, but all together,  fantastic. I'm going to give it a 4.9. I enjoyed it was chilled. I haven't had that in a while."


Jesse: Star rating: 5
"I'm going to whisper my review to Eric."

Brianne: "Don't be mean to me. I'm playing Motion City Soundtrack. We're all like high school friends right now."

Jesse: "Imagine Notion City Soundtrack."

Jesse: "It's best BRO 10 out of 10."

Eric: "What is that out of 5"

Jesse: "6"

Brianne: "5, its a 5."

Jesse: "It's like. I'm addicted to ice cream, and it was like an ice cream meal. I could eat it all day. All day bro. I want a kids pool filled with it for my birthday. I want a pea soup filled bath, and I'll just eat myself out of it. But I want it to be warm this time. I'm not just going to sit in cold soup and eat the entire bathtub."

Brianne: "The soup has to be pureed."

Eric: "In a little magic bullet."

Jesse: "Just put it next to the bathtub."


Eric: Star rating: 4.9
"It was perfect. I took away a point one because i thought it would have been fun to have a dollop or a little squiggle of, maybe a crème? I don't actually know what I'm thinking of but i can picture it. Brianne posted a picture of the soup earlier in the day when she first made it. we all thought it was from a magazine she stole the recipe for, but she just took a picture of it in the laundry room."

Brianne: "The laundry room is where my secret photo studio is!"

SECOND COURSE: Chipotle Chicken Stuffed Sweet Potato Skins

STAR RATING: 4.56/5

These looked really delicious online. The recipe I used claimed they were healthy, but that's probably a stretch because they're covered with cheese. They took an excruciatingly long time to cook. It was in and out of the oven a zillion times. There were lots of steps which is not how I like to do things. I don't like to do steps, which is probably why i won't do these again. but it tasted lime-zesty-chipotle-fresh, delicious. All those things. I have never used so many spices! Cumin, red pepper flakes, chipotle, chilli pepper, cayenne... it just went on and on.

Jesse: "Can I put a gif as my review?"

Brianne: "No Jesse."

Ian: Star rating:4.7

"If we didn't get so drunk before we had to do these I would do much better.
I really enjoyed the marinated chicken. It was zesty and fresh with a delicious, perfectly cooked sweet potato. 4.7, because i was picky about the skins.

Brianne: "For some reason, Ian wants sweet potato skins with no skins. I baked that thing for over an hour to get those perfect skins!"

Ian: "...it was great.."

Jesse Star rating: 4.5
"They were delicious. 4.5. Needed a kick on the sweet potato, other than that it was perfection. Needed a pinch of fresh cayenne on top. maybe like a smokey cayenne.

Brianne: "there was cayenne in it."

Jesse: "If anyone else asks Eric, I give that potato a  5 out of 5. The cayenne was perfect and forget about the paprika." 

Eric: 4.5
"It was really good. the potato was sweet and supple. I thought the choice of cheese was superb. We should all take a moment to give the credit that is due to the beautiful aged cheddar that was used to top those potatoes, and honour the years it has been preparing for it's feature, here, on eating stuff. A moment of silence.

It was really good. I had no idea how I would have made it until I had one on a plate in front of me. I would have shredded the chicken a little more and hollowed out a little bit more of the potato. Or. Maybe not. No sense in losing potato. Maybe sour cream here too. I don't know how i'm lean cause I love sour cream."

(Eric is incapable of talking about sour cream without quoting a rap song that mentions sour cream)

Brianne: "I'd like to give a shout out to eric for getting the special cheese. Balderson. and getting some other vital ingredients as well."

Eric: "Do you think Balderson will sponsor us."

Brianne: "Maybe we could get Thunder Oak to sponsor us, they're in Thunder Bay."

Eric: "Ohhhh ya Thunder Oak is good. I see you t-oak!"

DESSERT: Almond Coffee Cake

STAR RATING: 4.6/5

Since the fudge sucked, during the trial run last week, U decided to make something with a ton of butter and a ton of sugar to make sure it was amazing. The cake was extremely sweet and dense, with little snappy poppy seeds inside. The glaze had orange juice in it! I learned some new things while making it, I learned about streusel. That's the crumbly butter layer on top of coffee cake that makes it so good. That took a lot of elbow grease to make, I had to use the pastry blender, so that was my work out for the day. 

I'm going to eat this for breakfast for the next week. 

I'm sorry donut.

I love you.

It was one of those recipes where you just mix everything together in the bowl at once. MY KIND OF STEP.

Streusel was hard but it paid off.

Ian: Star rating: 5
"This was a delightful end to the night, with the perfectly brewed coffee, and the incredibly tasty, delicious treat. 5 out of 5. I enjoyed the hints of orange.

Ian: "What was it called"

Eric: "What?"

Brianne: "Streusel??"

Ian: "STREUSELLL. I love that."

Jesse: Star rating: 4.5
"It was the perfect combination of crunch and moistness. It was something you could warm up and eat right before bed. Putting you into a deep sleep. Coaxing your body into the deepest sleep you've ever had. It could have used nothing, it was perfect. Four point five out of five."

Eric: Star rating: 4.5
"Tasty treat. I'm not big on desserts, but there's a special place in my heart for things that make black coffee even more delicious. Or maybe it's things that black coffee make more delicious. If that's the case Brianne was smart to shove a cup of coffee in my hand while she made me eat that crap.

That's probably not how it happened." 

Then we played catchphrase aka the best game ever.

PHOTO BOOTH PHOTO

Brianne: "This photo is just for you Mom."

ASPARAGUS & PROSCIUTTO, FISH TACOS, AND PEANUT BUTTER & JELLY COOKIES

CULINARY ARTIST: ERIC "LAUDRUM

OVERALL STAR RATING: 4.5/5

FOOD EATERS: IAN, BRIANNE, JESSE

LATECOMER NON-FOOD EATERS: ALYSSA & EMMETT

Hang on, I'm eating a cookie. 

I just about burnt the house down. Can we call it 3 alarm asparagus? Today I spent about half an hour at Longos over my lunch break to get my ingredients. I couldn't find jam or puff pastries...

Alyssa: "Jam is the easiest thing!"

Ian: "There's like an entire aisle for Jam"

The asparagus was supposed to have pastry wrapped around it but I had to ditch that idea when I couldn't find the pastry. I just made fish tacos because I really love fish tacos. Yes. I think the world should eat more fish tacos. Also Brianne has never had fish tacos.

Brianne: "I didn't even know fish tacos was a thing until a year ago. I knew it was a funny slang for vagina, but I didn't know it was an actual food."

Alyssa: "Uhhh, emmett just poured wine on the ground"

Emmett: "Help! I don't want to wine stain the cats"

FIRST COURSE: Asparagus 
STAR RATING: 4.67/5



Asparagus, wrapped in prosciutto and broiled to a juicy crispiness. The trick is to keep it under even and constant heat until the fire alarm goes off; golden brown. Finished with parmesan cheese. Nice Ape Tits. That's french.
Brianne: Star rating: 4

"I have deducted a point because the smoke alarm caused me considerable anxiety, and left Groucho slouched beside the toilet crying. It did taste good. Salty. Mmmmm. I love prosciutto and I love asparagus. But this smoke alarm business was unacceptable."

Jesse: Star rating: 5
"Perfection. That's it."

Ian: Star rating: 5
"Perfectly tender. Salty treat. ;)."

Alyssa: "I would just like to note Emmett and I planned on bringing 100 samosas. But we went to buy them and they were closed. 100 samosas is $30. I think we could have eaten them. I'm pretty hungry. We could just be laying in them."

Brianne: "Just fill the bath."

SECOND COURSE: Fish Tacos

STAR RATING: 4.8/5

Lucky Buddha Beer Battered Telapia. It was a last minute decision to batter the fish. I wanted to keep it really fresh and light and I didn't want the batter to weight it down. But in the end you can still batter your bait and keep it light and crispy. Write that down. Okay.

The Lucky Buddha beer was chosen primarily for the energy levels. It really brought balance to the karma party. It was also the only beer I had in the house.

So, fish tacos. Here's a walk through. Corn tortillas, warm em up till they start to bubble. Lay that out, and you're gonna want to add a dollop of a cilantro sour cream spread, diced and salted tomatoes, red cabbage slaw, and the radish, cucumber, pepper mix. And the fish! Oh and parmesan cheese.

Brianne: Star rating:5

"My first fish taco experience was excellente. I was nervous and excited, but it delivered. The fish was perfectly cooked. The sour cream was sour cream, so that is perfect. Eric knows that sour cream is my weakness."

Jesse: Star rating: 4.8
"It was delicious. It was warm and cold. It hit it on the head. That is all."

Alyssa: "Hit what on the head?? I'm going to give it a 1.2. It would have been so tasty if only I had been invited. Emmett has no comment because he's too upset."

Ian: Star rating:4.6
"I enjoyed the crispy... what?... crispy, but tangy... notes. And what tied it all together was the slightly toasted taco. Shell."

DESSERT: PEANUT BUTTER & JELLY COOKIES

STAR RATING: 4.05/5

The cookies were a peanut butter and jelly cookie. This was a recipe from Michael Smith so that is why it was only okay. He's a shitty chef. I think it was on the food network. They were a little over cooked...

Ian: "I wouldn't say they were overcooked!"

If i had made them bigger I could have put in more jelly.

Brianne: Star rating: 3.9
"I know I ate like 7 of these, but they were only a 3.9. I agree they were a teeny bit overcooked, and I would have liked a different jam, or a variety of jam. Otherwise a very interesting and salty sweet cookie!"

Alyssa: Star rating: 3.5
"Some half points were deducted because I didn't get to experience the entire selection at the dinner. Side note, points deducted because Eric is a douche. Despite the slight burntiness I would still give them a solid 3.5. Congratulations Eric."

Jesse: Star rating: 4
"The cookies were delicious. I give them a 4. The jam was a nice touch. Chocolate milk that was the best. That's it that's all." 

Ian: Star rating: 4.8
"I enjoyed that it was a subtle peanut butter rather than an overpowering. I don't like when it's too dry. There was enough jam to cut... it gave it a lot more of a texture. Hmmm. What would you call that? Oversized grains of sugar?"

Brianne: "It was regular sugar."

Ian: "Oh! And the chocolate milk was a great accompaniment."

Alyssa: "A comfy mint?"

Brianne and Jesse spent almost an hour trying to get this plane to fly. By the time it finally flew (to the roof of our neighbours house, landing on top of the air conditioner) it didn't even have proper wings. It was straight busted. 

PHOTO BOOTH PHOTO